Scenario 1– Student looks quizzically at Teacher during a lecture.
Teacher response: “Do you understand the words that are comin’ outta my mouth?!”
(Note-Teacher must expect the student(s) to respond with “No one understands that words that are comin’ outta your mouth!!”)
Scenario 2– Student pushes the line, part I.
Teacher response: “You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky?”
(Note-Teacher is not recommended to try this line if student has a weapon. If no weapon is visible, teacher could also follow this line with “Well, do ya, punk?”)
Scenario 3– Student pushes the line, part II.
Teacher response: “Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”
(Note-Teacher should expect at least one of the following reactions: a. “You know that movie?!” b. Several minutes of eye contact while student waits for Teacher to turn green. c. Student pushes harder to make Teacher turn green.
Scenario 4– Student is chooses test option ‘d’ which reads, ‘do not choose d’ (or any other exasperating behavior).
Teacher response: “You’re killin’ me, Smalls!”
(Note-This response is perfect for students with the last name Small, but can be used on students with any last name; not recommended for conversations with the vertically-challenged.)