My expiration date is imminent

Student 1 (sitting in the corner glowering and casting spells with her eyebrows, suddenly screeches): MISS?! YOU’RE NOT MARRIED?!

Class (shaking their heads, covering their eyes, because we’ve covered this before)

Me: Nope.

Student 1 (still screeching): BUT WHY?!

Me: It just never happened.

Student 1 (yep, still screeching): BUT… BUT… BUT… HOW OLD ARE YOU?!

Me: I’m 33.

Student 2 (very matter-of-factly): Miss, you gotta year to get it done!!

Me (tongue-in-cheek): So, 34 is my expiration date??

Student 2 (with the utmost of confidence): Yes!

Me: Well, someone needs to share that tidbit with celebrities!

 

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