Student 1 (sitting in the corner glowering and casting spells with her eyebrows, suddenly screeches): MISS?! YOU’RE NOT MARRIED?!
Class (shaking their heads, covering their eyes, because we’ve covered this before)
Student 1 (still screeching): BUT WHY?!
Me: It just never happened.
Student 1 (yep, still screeching): BUT… BUT… BUT… HOW OLD ARE YOU?!
Me: I’m 33.
Student 2 (very matter-of-factly): Miss, you gotta year to get it done!!
Me (tongue-in-cheek): So, 34 is my expiration date??
Student 2 (with the utmost of confidence): Yes!
Me: Well, someone needs to share that tidbit with celebrities!