Public Nudity

Today the children are going to go home and tell their parents that Mrs. Crumpett doesn’t like to be naked in public.

Let me ‘splain.  No, it is too much.  Let me sum up…

It started at the beginning of 4th block, my co-teaching hour.  I was exhausted, but somehow sucked into the following dialogue:

Student: Who is Mrs. Smith?

Me: Who?

Student: From the movies, who is Mrs. Smith?

Me: Will Smith’s wife is Jada Pinkett Smith.

Student: No, not her.  Mrs. Smith.

Me: Jada Pinkett Smith is the only one I know.

(we went back and forth on this for awhile then suddenly…)

Student: The movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Me: Oh… you mean Angelina Jolie.

Student: Yeah.  When she came out of the wax do you think that would hurt?

Me: From the movie “Wanted?”  That wasn’t wax.

Student: Yes, it was.

Me: No, it wasn’t.  It was mud.  If it was wax, she would’ve died.

Student: Oh.  Well, mud then.  I don’t think I could do it.  Does that really happen? Do you do that?

Me: Yes, it really happens. No, I don’t like being naked in public.

At this point the entire class stopped and looked at me.  I thought we were having a relatively private conversation but it turned out that our conversation had gotten increasingly louder and in my exhaustion, I had raised my voice for the last line.  Silence lasted a few seconds and then we all erupted into raucous laughter… except the student I was talking to.  She did not understand why everyone was laughing.  My co-teacher and I were laughing so hard we were crying, so I had to gasp out my explanation.  She did not find it funny.



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