To women who call themselves fat

To women who call themselves fat:

It’s not cute or funny. Stop it. There are infinitely better ways to hear compliments that will actually resonate within you, stick to your bones, and make you feel like a million bucks forever.

If no one responds to you, it’s not an invitation to repeat it louder. It means no one believes you’re fat. They know that any compliment given right now will fall flat because later, when you’re analyzing the compliments, you’ll interpret all of them as fake statements intended to make you feel better. The euphoric bonds of sisterhood and truth disintegrate so fast.

For all the times I’ve added to this perpetual self-loathing, I am deeply sorry. For all the times I’ve said nothing, biting back the urge to scream at you to shut up, I am ashamed. Please hear this now:

If you cannot look into the mirror and see beauty, there is nothing wrong with the mirror. You need to get new glasses. Weight and attractiveness are not irrevocably linked, neither should be your weight and your sense of self-worth.

“Fatness” is not a physical state of being, it is an emotional state of mind. Don’t continue to mask your insecurities with self-depreciation; it’s not humorous or uplifting. Guard your heart and protect your soul with the truth (and the immortal words of Christina Aguilera), “You are beautiful in every single way.”

I know you already feel bad and I’m not intending anyone to feel worse, but understand this: every time you utter the words “I’m fat,” it immediately triggers a response in other women who have painful issues with their own self-image.  They knee-jerk into, “if she’s fat then I’m…” or “You’re not fat, I am.”  Then it’s a shit storm of false compliments and fake encouragements that only leave you bitter and intensely aware of everything that’s wrong.  There’s no room for what is right. It’s a vicious cycle that can only be stopped one way.  #BeTheChange

A Former “I’m Fat” Sayer.

P.S. Sometimes I slip back into old habits, but I’m unthwartably happier when I don’t.

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