Them Crusty Cougars

Student 1: Hey Miss, do you know Verda Bridges?

Me: Who?

Student 1: Verda Bridges. From House Party. (He shows me a picture)

Me: Oh yeah, I know her face.

Student 1: Why does she always play a hooker?

Me (laughing): She doesn’t, but she’s usually sassy, right?

Student 1: She fiiiiiiiiine!

Me: Sweetie, you know she’s probably old enough to be your grandmother!

Student 1 (wide-eyed, shocked, franticly googling her name)

Me (Smiling): Well?

Student 1 (appalled): She’s 53. She was born in 1961. NINE-teen SIXTY-ONE.

Student 2 (laughing hysterically): She’s as old as my grandma!

Me: I told you!

Student 1: (still in stunned silence)

Student 1 (coming to a slow epiphany): Well, I guess so. She don’t look her age… she musta had that plastic surgery.

Me: Well, maybe. But maybe she just has a young fa–

Student 3 (playfully disgusted): Whatever Miss, she be older than my Granny, [Student 1] be grinding on some old ass–yuck!

Me: Hey!

Student 3: Sorry, Miss. (thoughtful for a moment) So, [Student 1] be liking them crusty cougars, hmm?


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