I should get a medal for all the things I don’t actually say

Me (to three female students chatting in the corner): Ladies, please be quiet and do your Bellwork.

Student (ignoring the fact that her friends got quiet and were doing their Bellwork): Ladies?! Who you calling LADIES?!

Me (thinking): Oh good lord, please tell me that she knows she’s a lady because she’s a girl.

Me (out loud): Please be quiet and do your Bellwork.

Student (louder): Ladies?! Who you calling LADIES?! I wasn’t talking!

 Me (thinking): Really? Ladies is the word we’re objecting to? What does she want me to say? Gals? Homegirls? Females? Chicas?! 

Me (out loud): I need you to quietly do your Bellwork.

Student (still louder): Ladies?! Who you calling LADIES?! I wasn’t talking!

Class: (No one is doing Bellwork, everyone is fascinated by this student’s line of reasoning)

Me (thinking): If you weren’t talking, then I wasn’t talking to you. Ladies means more than one, there are three of you, so if you weren’t talking I was speaking to the other two…

Me (out loud): You need to be doing your Bellwork.

Student (even louder): Who you calling ladies?! I wasn’t talking!

Me (thinking): Well, you’re talking now…

Me (out loud): You have one more chance to do your Bellwork quietly.

She did not use her chances wisely.

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