It’s summer time, but my weird and wonderful interactions with children never seem to cease!
I spent the better part of today having a great time helping friends paint their new house. But when I was practically home, this wild child of a girl ran out in front of me as I was pulling into our parking lot. She smiled an apology, I smiled an ‘it’s alright.’
She found me again, bare-foot with her white-blond curls dancing in the wind, as I was walking into my building. “Do I know you?” she asked, hands on her hips. “No, I don’t think so,” I answered with a smile.
“You’re going to die tonight,” she stated. I tried not to look surprised. “You’re going to die tonight. I’ve been telling everyone that today, but no one believes me, but if they’ve been playing with the ouija board with me then they’re going to die, I know it.”
I think I said, “Oh, ok.” and then she ran away to play with her friends.
A few weeks ago, while trying to illustrate the extreme height of Vikings to my class, we had this dialogue:
Me: According to the book, Vikings are well over six feet tall. I’m 5’6″, so that’s at least this tall (I stand on tippy-toes and point way above my head)
Student 1: (with a big grin) Like me!!
Me: (Laughing) Nope, you and I are almost the same height! Let me put it this way, I went on a date with a guy once who was 6’10” – I came up to his armpit.
Student 1 (suddenly shouting): He’s 7’15”!!
Me: (mock irritated look) Really?! Anyway, the tallest guy I know of is Shaquille O’Neal and he’s 7’1″.
Student 2: (visibly impressed and clearly not really listening) You dated Shaquille O’Neal?!
Me: Yes, when I was 12, I dated Shaquille O’Neal but alas I didn’t lock that down and he became The One Who Got Away.
OK, I made this last line up, I really said, “No, I never dated Shaq, he’s old enough to be my dad.” (Which I now know to be false; he’s only 8 years older than me lol)
I say this to my students all the time… they usually throw me a pathetic smile and a few groans. And maybe a few eye rolls. Ha!
So this kid kept asking me to prom.
One day he asked me again and when I said no, but he was pretty persistent. His argument was “But there’s going to be food!”
To which I said, “Food’s in prison, too, and like prom with you, I have no desire to go.”
Yesterday, I was helping a student write an informative essay after school. The process took three times as long as necessary because every time I said “smoking” he would dissolve into a fit of giggles and then list every name for marijuana he could think of.
Me (trying on my new Masters robe for graduation )
Student: You look like Harry Potter!
“Miss, you’re so going to ugly cry on Tuesday, aren’t you…”
Well, it’s a Friday night and I’m young and single, so of course I’m falling asleep at 8:00.
This actually shows off the wild, devil-may-care side of me as I’ve been craving my pillow since I got home from school.
So, this happened today…
I read a student response that said he wanted “to learn about douch” (he meant Dutch), it made me laugh so hard that I accidentally knocked my iPhone into my mug of water.
What’s the emoji that reflects hilarity turned horrification?! (yep, that’s a word! thankyou thankyouverymuch!)
UPDATE 5/29: Please join me in a moment of silence. My iPhone has passed away from a lingering illness after almost drowning last week.
To those who foster, adopt, teach, mentor, grandparent, let the neighborhood kids in, work, stay-at-home, do it alone, with a partner, and those dads that do double duty.
You are loved, you are important – this is your day and I hope you enjoy it!