Kahoot Queen

I smoked the class when we were playing Kahoot this morning. The category was songs, but they were all from the ’50s and ’60s. One kid thought it was massively unfair because I had an advantage since I was born back then.  

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His definition vs. My definition

Chronically tardy student: I’m always in class on time.
Me: Showing up with 10 minutes left is not on time.
C.T.S.: Yes it is.
Me: I think your definition of “on time” and my definition of “on time” are very different.
C.T.S.: (thinks that’s the funniest thing he’s heard. ever. lol)

-2 + 2 = ?

I’m having my Pre-Algebra class watch one of my favorite movies, Stand and Deliver. In an early scene, Mr. Escalante asks, “Fill the hole. What is -2+2?”

No one can answer. He gets to Lou Diamond Philips character and one of my students starts cheering him on, “The answer is zero. Please don’t say 2! Don’t say 2!”

Hood Music

A student explains to me why, although Math is more boring than English, Math is a less boring class,

“‘Cuz you play hood music! [English teacher] plays that {sings in a falsetto soprano opera ditty} music which makes me {fakes a gigantic yawn}.”

Bully for you

Senior 1: Miss, I’m going to report you for bullying.
Me: Why?
Senior 1: Because you keep laughing at me.
Senior 2: You know, it is Bully Awareness Week…
Me: I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing because of the funny things you say.
Senior 1: Teachers shouldn’t laugh at students. It’s against their contract.
Me: I’m laughing, they’re laughing, you’re laughing…
Senior 1 (laughing): I’m not laughing!
Senior 2: You can get one of those orange bully sheets from the counselor’s office…
Senior 3: You know, no one will believe you.
Senior 1 (with a smirk): Why, ‘cuz I’m black?
Me: (rolled my eyes, put my head on my desk)
Seniors 2 and 3: (roaring with laughter)
Senior 1: Miss, rolling your eyes at me is bullying too….
Senior 3: Dude, you waited 4 years for THIS?!