Quote of the Day

Me (shouting): “My boyfriend or lack of boyfriend is not a topic of conversation appropriate for Pre-Algebra!”

These middle schoolers are going to be the death of me. I want to scream and laugh at the same time, all the time!!

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293

I’ve assigned a numbers activity where students need to come up with things that relate to them that correspond with numbers 1-100. It’s been a joy. 🙄  lol

Student 1 (who’s bouncing off the walls): I CAN’T COME UP WITH ANYTHING IN THE THIRTIES!!
Me (slowly, trying to be patient): Well, do you remember that I told you my age and the ages of your teachers?
Student 1: Yeah.
Me: So, how old am I?
Student 1 (triumphantly): 63!
Me (annoyed): Dude, I am not 63.
Student 1: 93?
Me: What?!
Student 1: Well, [staff person] told me you were older than him!
Me (laughing): I am not older than him!!
Student 1: OK, you’re 293.
Me: (put my head down on the desk)

<later that afternoon>

Student 2: So some of them [slaves] were freed by that undercover thing, I can’t remember the name.
Me: The Underground Railroad.
Student 2: Yeah! That’s it!
Student 3: I was alive then.
Student 2: What?
Student 3: Yeah, I’ve aged well.
Me (laughing and rolling my eyes): You and me both, [Student 3]. Apparently we survived the Civil War together.

Mama Said…

Student 1 (very serious): This song is putting Satan in my heart!
Me (laughing): It’s Five Finger Death Punch’s cover of “Mama Said Knock You Out” …
Student 1: Can I use my earbuds?
Me: Nope.
Student 1: Will you change the music?
Me: Nope. When your name is on the outside of the door, you can choose the music!
Student 2: Well, I guess I’m gonna add my name to your sign!
Me: 

She’s so cold!

Student 1: [Mrs. Crumpett], what’s the wifi password?
Me: I won’t give it to you.
Student 1 (whining): Please, please, please… (repeated…)
Me: I don’t give it to any student! [Student 2] is like a son to me and I won’t give him the password either.
Student 2 (very seriously): Yeah, she love me, but she cold!

Superlatives

One kid is in awe of me strictly because I have more (and better!) tattoos than him. I love it! That probably makes me a bad person, but I don’t care lol Last year, he and I tied for the “Best tattoos” in the yearbook. It was fantastic! 

I don’t want to be armed

I’m going to go out on a limb here — if the United States actually put money into schools for classroom supplies, support staff (like para-educators, mentors, security officers), counseling, therapy, mentoring, clubs, parenting classes, childcare for teen parents, anger management programs, multiple alternative education options (including adult classes, classes for those suspended etc), anti-gang programs and interventions, food for at least two square meals a day – even when school is not in session, clothing for students and families in need…

If the U.S. put that kind of money into schools, we might actually see a decrease in school-related violence.

But yeah, guns. Giving teachers guns does the same thing 🤬

Black Like Me

The kids have a family tree project that’s due at the end of the semester, so I showed them my tree on Ancestry.com and talked about my DNA results…

Me: … and I’m just a tiny, tiny bit North African.
Student 1 (shocked): What?
Me: It means that waaaay back sometime I had an ancestor or two who were North African.
Student 2 (practically shouting): Wait, so you BLACK?!
Me (sighing and laughing): Sure.
Student 2 (triumphantly): THAT’S why you so gangsta!!