Whatever motivates you!

Watching “Outlander” to help me stay focused on writing division word problems… says every math teacher ever! 

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Teaching Middle School Problem #47

“OMG! Grow up, gentlemen. The word is ‘come.’ C-O-M-E. It means to move in a certain direction. Let’s move on!”

Stop being weird

Student: Have you been to [local BBQ restaurant]?
Me: No, but I think I’m going on Monday.
Student: Oooooooh, is it a daaaaate?
Me: No, it’s with a friend.
Student: Ooooooooooooh.
Me: Her name is Mina, she has a husband and two kids.
Student (trying to be sexy, succeeded in being creepy): Tell her I say “Heeeeeeeey Mina”
Me: Dude, stop being weird.
Student (on repeat): Heeeeeeeeey Mina, heeeeeeey heeeeeeeey Mina, Meeeeeeeeeeeeena…
Me: 

It was a Good Day

You know you’ve arrived when in the space less than 8 hours:

One student refers to you as “a middle aged math teacher who needs to use bath bombs to relax after a long day of teaching.” #sciencefairpresentation

…and…

Another student, who just told me she’s suspended for two days (including first day of finals), said “Wow, you got angrier than my parents!” #tutoringwin

Fat Like Me

Student 1: (Giving me shit)
Student 2: (Defending me)
Me (to Student 2): It’s ok, dude, I got this, I’m a big girl.
Student 3 (loudly): Yeah, you are.
Class: 
Me: (moving on)
Student 3: Physically. (pause) You’re big physically.
Class: 
Me: (nodded a him, and then tried to move on)
Student 3: You’re fat.
Me (surprised): Did you just call me fat?!
Student 4: (trying to avoid eye contact, muttered) This is fucking awkward…
Student 5: (also trying to avoid eye contact, muttered) So fucking awkward…
Student 3: You are fat! You’re fat like me!
Class: 
Me:  (but inside I’m like, he’s at least two of me! smh)