Questions

The new girl and I haven’t exactly gotten off on the right foot, so I was quite surprised this afternoon when she walked right up to me during an activity and said…

New Girl: Do you have a black baby?

Me (surprised, took a step back): No…

New Girl (nonplussed): Do you have a white baby??

Me (slowly, with a small smile): I don’t have any children.

New Girl (eyes widened, took a step back and then turned around and walked away)

Me: 

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All Grown Up

8th grader 1: I’m a grown man.
8th grader 2: I’m a grown man, too!
Me: Neither of you are grown men!
8th grader 2: But Miss, I have hair!
Me: 

Typo

You know you’re a great teacher when you discover that instead of “function”, you’ve typed “cuntion” through out the test.

You know you’re a star teacher when you don’t notice the mistake until after you print it… but manage to fix it before giving it to the class.

Stalker!

Student: I found you on Facebook last night.
Me: (sigh) Oh, great.
Student: You really love your brother. You had a picture of him for his birthday.
Me: Stalker much?
Student: I’m not a stalker!
(Pause)
Student: You have a really cute dog.
Me: Such a stalker! (to another student) He’s a Facebook stalker, right?
Student 2: (nods)
Student: (a bit whiny) I’m not a stalker!
Me and class: 

Teaching Middle School is going to be the death of me

Student 1: Miss, have you ever kissed a boy?

Me (hanging my head): What does this have to do with math?!?!?

Student 2 (forcefully): Of course she has! She’s a grown ass woman! She’s kissed hundreds of boys!!

Me: Whoa there…

Student 2 (still forcefully): Why you always up in her business anyway?? Worry about yourself!!

Me: What he said…!