Gentlemen, it’s not considered self defense if you beat the other guy’s face into the ground.
Student 1: You need to go talk to your son.
Me: My son?
Student 1: Yeah, your son.
Student 2: She ain’t my mom.
Student 1: You white, she white.
Me (best shocked expression I can come up with): Wait, what? I’M WHITE?!
<Stunned silence, I couldn’t keep it together and we all laughed>
When asked, what’s your favorite subject or class, one student answered “Sex Ed.”
I asked if that class was even offered here, he answered “No” with a giant grin.
I laid down on the floor to play with my dog when I got home from school…
Next thing I know, I’m waking up, smooshed between him and the couch. At 5:30pm.
Student: I want [blah blah blah]
Me: Tell me what you want.
Student: Ok, I want [blah blah blah]–
Me: What you really really want.
“Wow, thank you for finally doing a math problem!! Tomorrow’s my birthday and I feel like I just got an early present!”
“You’re mean, Miss.”
“Yes, yes I am.”
Student: Miss, I saw one of your students yesterday.
Me: You’ll have to be more specific.
Student: The one that got in a fight the other day.
Student: He was on my street at like 1 o’clock.
Student: Shouldn’t he be in class?
Me: (raised eyebrow)
Student: Touché, Miss. Touché.
Teachers are some of my favorite people in the world. I mean I really love teachers! They tend to be enthusiastic about changing society, and more often than not, they care so deeply about their work and their students. What’s not to like?