Spring Break is Near!

I knew this week kicked my ass, but I didn’t know how bad it was until I got home. I attempted to do work but my body was like, “Um, bitch please!” and I passed out. For 5 hours. Then I woke up to realize I’d put my pants on backward.


End of Quarter

Tomorrow is the last day to turn in work. It’s also a half day. I wonder how many will show up on Monday with a stack of papers that I will just throw in the trashcan?!

On Fire!

(Student on her phone during lecture)

Me: [Student] please put your phone away.

(Student pretends to put it away, but is really still on it under the desk, I know this because the light from the phone is reflected on her glasses)

Me: [Student] I asked you to put your phone away already…

Student (innocently): I’m not on it!

Me: Really? So your crotch has a neon blue light??

Student (literally rolling on the floor laughing): I’m dead!! You on fire today!

Ass Music

{“Hallelujah I Love Her So” playing}
Student: You need to turn off this ass music.
Me (incredulous): You think Ray Charles is ass music?!
Student: Yeah. Ass music. It needs to get turned off.
Me (after a slight pause): When you become a teacher, you can play whatever kinda music you want.
Student (considering): OK, that seems fair.