She’s so cold!

Student 1: [Mrs. Crumpett], what’s the wifi password?
Me: I won’t give it to you.
Student 1 (whining): Please, please, please… (repeated…)
Me: I don’t give it to any student! [Student 2] is like a son to me and I won’t give him the password either.
Student 2 (very seriously): Yeah, she love me, but she cold!



One kid is in awe of me strictly because I have more (and better!) tattoos than him. I love it! That probably makes me a bad person, but I don’t care lol Last year, he and I tied for the “Best tattoos” in the yearbook. It was fantastic! 

His definition vs. My definition

Chronically tardy student: I’m always in class on time.
Me: Showing up with 10 minutes left is not on time.
C.T.S.: Yes it is.
Me: I think your definition of “on time” and my definition of “on time” are very different.
C.T.S.: (thinks that’s the funniest thing he’s heard. ever. lol)

-2 + 2 = ?

I’m having my Pre-Algebra class watch one of my favorite movies, Stand and Deliver. In an early scene, Mr. Escalante asks, “Fill the hole. What is -2+2?”

No one can answer. He gets to Lou Diamond Philips character and one of my students starts cheering him on, “The answer is zero. Please don’t say 2! Don’t say 2!”

Hood Music

A student explains to me why, although Math is more boring than English, Math is a less boring class,

“‘Cuz you play hood music! [English teacher] plays that {sings in a falsetto soprano opera ditty} music which makes me {fakes a gigantic yawn}.”