In the middle of the Algebra 1 quiz this afternoon, a young man looked at me and asked, “Did your mom breastfeed you?”
Now, I’ve been asked weirder questions, but this one is up there! Plus, I wonder what in the hell is in multi-step equations that makes a kid think of my mother’s boobs?!
Tomorrow is the last day to turn in work. It’s also a half day. I wonder how many will show up on Monday with a stack of papers that I will just throw in the trashcan?!
Me (shouting): “My boyfriend or lack of boyfriend is not a topic of conversation appropriate for Pre-Algebra!”
These middle schoolers are going to be the death of me. I want to scream and laugh at the same time, all the time!!
I’ve assigned a numbers activity where students need to come up with things that relate to them that correspond with numbers 1-100. It’s been a joy. 🙄 lol
Student 1 (who’s bouncing off the walls): I CAN’T COME UP WITH ANYTHING IN THE THIRTIES!!
Me (slowly, trying to be patient): Well, do you remember that I told you my age and the ages of your teachers?
Student 1: Yeah.
Me: So, how old am I?
Student 1 (triumphantly): 63!
Me (annoyed): Dude, I am not 63.
Student 1: 93?
Student 1: Well, [staff person] told me you were older than him!
Me (laughing): I am not older than him!!
Student 1: OK, you’re 293.
Me: (put my head down on the desk)
<later that afternoon>
Student 2: So some of them [slaves] were freed by that undercover thing, I can’t remember the name.
Me: The Underground Railroad.
Student 2: Yeah! That’s it!
Student 3: I was alive then.
Student 2: What?
Student 3: Yeah, I’ve aged well.
Me (laughing and rolling my eyes): You and me both, [Student 3]. Apparently we survived the Civil War together.
This is what happens when you teach a 7th grader a new phrase lol.
Student 1 (very serious): This song is putting Satan in my heart!
Me (laughing): It’s Five Finger Death Punch’s cover of “Mama Said Knock You Out” …
Student 1: Can I use my earbuds?
Student 1: Will you change the music?
Me: Nope. When your name is on the outside of the door, you can choose the music!
Student 2: Well, I guess I’m gonna add my name to your sign!
Student 1: [Mrs. Crumpett], what’s the wifi password?
Me: I won’t give it to you.
Student 1 (whining): Please, please, please… (repeated…)
Me: I don’t give it to any student! [Student 2] is like a son to me and I won’t give him the password either.
Student 2 (very seriously): Yeah, she love me, but she cold!
Today I learned that a man named Tim Cranmer the Babylonian invented the abacus 5000 years ago to help the blind.