Whatever motivates you!

Watching “Outlander” to help me stay focused on writing division word problems… says every math teacher ever! 

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Madonna? Who’s that?

Another episode in Things I never thought I’d have to shout out in Geometry class:

MADONNA IS NOT BLACK!

Teaching Middle School is going to be the death of me

Student 1: Miss, have you ever kissed a boy?

Me (hanging my head): What does this have to do with math?!?!?

Student 2 (forcefully): Of course she has! She’s a grown ass woman! She’s kissed hundreds of boys!!

Me: Whoa there…

Student 2 (still forcefully): Why you always up in her business anyway?? Worry about yourself!!

Me: What he said…!

Thinking of my Mom

In the middle of the Algebra 1 quiz this afternoon, a young man looked at me and asked, “Did your mom breastfeed you?”

Now, I’ve been asked weirder questions, but this one is up there! Plus, I wonder what in the hell is in multi-step equations that makes a kid think of my mother’s boobs?!

293

I’ve assigned a numbers activity where students need to come up with things that relate to them that correspond with numbers 1-100. It’s been a joy. 🙄  lol

Student 1 (who’s bouncing off the walls): I CAN’T COME UP WITH ANYTHING IN THE THIRTIES!!
Me (slowly, trying to be patient): Well, do you remember that I told you my age and the ages of your teachers?
Student 1: Yeah.
Me: So, how old am I?
Student 1 (triumphantly): 63!
Me (annoyed): Dude, I am not 63.
Student 1: 93?
Me: What?!
Student 1: Well, [staff person] told me you were older than him!
Me (laughing): I am not older than him!!
Student 1: OK, you’re 293.
Me: (put my head down on the desk)

<later that afternoon>

Student 2: So some of them [slaves] were freed by that undercover thing, I can’t remember the name.
Me: The Underground Railroad.
Student 2: Yeah! That’s it!
Student 3: I was alive then.
Student 2: What?
Student 3: Yeah, I’ve aged well.
Me (laughing and rolling my eyes): You and me both, [Student 3]. Apparently we survived the Civil War together.

Hood Music

A student explains to me why, although Math is more boring than English, Math is a less boring class,

“‘Cuz you play hood music! [English teacher] plays that {sings in a falsetto soprano opera ditty} music which makes me {fakes a gigantic yawn}.”