Angry or Flattered?!

One of my younger students walked into my room, grabbed my upper arm, and then jiggled my arm fat for a few seconds. Before I could ask him to stop he said, “Wow, you’ve lost weight!”

Am I angry or flattered?! lol

She irritates me, too!

Teacher (teasing): You should try to lessen the stress in Mrs. Crumpett’s life.

Me: (Wild gesticulating, encouraging the student to agree)

Student (thinks about it for a minute): Nah. She irritates me, too!

Teacher: Touché.

Me (Laughing, to the teacher): See what I’m talking about?

 

Just Visiting

Student I used to kick out all the time sees me in the hall, screams my name, and rushes over to bear hug me.

Laughing, I said, “Oh, you’re nice to me now that I don’t work here?!”

She looks shocked, leans away, and says, “You mean you didn’t come back to stay??”

I smile, “No, hon. I’m just visiting–”

Student quickly turns and runs away from me without another word.

Marriage Material

Student 1: Would you get married someday?
Me: I try to never say never.
Student 1: So you want to get married?
Me: Is there someone specific you have in mind??
Student 2: [Male staff person’s name]
Student 1: JOHN CENA!!
Me (laughing): John Cena would be nice, but I think he’s already married.
Student 1: So if he wasn’t married, you’d marry him?
Me: Sure (hahaha). My first criteria for marriage has always been that he’s not already married.
Student 1 (very seriously): Me too.

Carded

{Students 1 and 3 and two others just finished serenading me with some 90’s pop ballad as I was sitting in my friend’s English class. It’s important to understand that I barely know Student 1 and have no idea who Student 2 and 3 are, having never met them before lol}

Student 1: This is {Student 2}. She doesn’t think she’s white.
Student 2: Yeah, I’m not white, I’m black.
Me: Cool, I’m not white either.
Student 1 (confused): Oh. Then what are you?
Me: I’m black, too.
Student 1: That’s cool, we accept you.
Student 2 (pretending to fish through her pocket) Here, I have a spare Black Card you can have (pretends to hand it to me).
Me (pretending to accept it and put it in my pocket): Thanks!
Student 2 (walks away)
Student 3 (looks at me like ‘wtf?!’): That don’t make no kinda sense…
Me: Yeah, I don’t know what’s happening (haha). I’m just going to laugh and roll with it!
Student 3 (understanding nod)

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Me (tired): OK, let’s get on GradeChecker and see how your grades look…

Student (with extra enthusiasm): They look so beautiful!

Me (annoyed): What are you talking about?! I’m not wearing any make up, I feel like crap, and my hair’s a wreck! This is NOT beautiful!!

Student (wide-eyed): My grades, Miss. My grades are beautiful.

Me (deflated, but can’t help but laugh): Oh.

Seems like my raggedy ass needs to invest in some hearing aids lol.