Student (interrupting the lesson): Miss! Miss! I have to go to the bathroom.
Me: Is it an emergency?
Student (with energetic nodding): YES!
Me: Ok, but you’re going to miss the lesson…
Student (sincerely): No, I’m not.
Me: If you leave, you will.
Student (with a reassuring smile): But I won’t leave!
Me (genuinely confused now): Um, but you want to go to the bathroom, right?
Student: Yes.
Me (slowly): Then you will miss the lesson.
Student: Nope. I will stay here.
Me (having an epiphany): Oh, Ok. I get it. You’re going to split yourself in half so that one of you can go to the bathroom and the other one of you can stay for the lesson?
Student (with beaming confidence): Yes!
Me: Yeah, that’s not going to happen.
Student: Anything is possible, Mrs. Crumpett.
Me (with a slow smile): True… but this, this is improbable.
The Crumpett Files 