My new goal in life is to make sure all my students can spell “rapping” correctly. That way no future teacher or employer will think he thinks one of his “best qualities” is sexual assault.
A student just guessed that I’m turning 59 in two weeks, and he wonders why I won’t consider his music requests…
Seeing a full moon Sunday night:
Most people: “Oh how beautiful!”
Teachers: “Shit’s about to get real!”
Student: What you get for lunch, Miss Sarah?
Me: Chicken from that wing’s place.
Student: Why you go there?
Me: Because I love chicken!
Student: It’s cuz you Black.
Student: Chicken is good.
Me: I have something I need to tell you.
Student 1: You’re pregnant.
Me: What?! Why would that be the thing I need to tell you?!
Student 1: Well, you love us.
Me: True, but wait a minute… yesterday, you said I was getting smaller and now you think I’m pregnant?!
Student 1: Hey, stranger things have happened.
Me: OK, let’s try it this way. I have some bad news–
Student 2: You have cancer!
Student 3: Hey, don’t put that out there!
Me: No, I don’t have cancer, geez.
Student 2: WHAT IS IT MISS????
Me: Guys, I hate to tell you this, but I’m not perfect…
Student 3: DUH!!
Student 2 (not impressed): THAT’S what you wanted to tell us?!
Student 1: No one’s perfect.
Student 4: We all know you’re not perfect, Miss.
Me: I really try to be nice.
Student: You are nice.
Me: Oh good, my acting classes are working!
Me (listening to “You make me feel like a Natural Woman”)
Student (walking in the room right before lunch is over) Who is singing?
Me: Aretha Franklin
Student: Hmmm. (pause) She has a really good voice.
Me: She’s the Queen of Soul.
Student: Really? I’ll have to check her out.