And there you have it, Ladies and Gentlemen – hold onto your seats! My long and illustrious career in politics will begin shortly! Ha!
Me: …Oh, I know, you hate my guts…?
Student 1: Yeah.
Me: A lot or a little?
Student 1: Um, maybe a little.
Me(to a second student): Do you hate my guts?
Student 2 (horrified): No!!
Me (laughing, speaking to a third student): What about you?
Student 3: I dunno, I haven’t seen your guts!
This past school year for one reason or another three of my seniors had portions of time when they did not have their own laptop, phone, iPod or whatever so they’d beg me to let them listen to music on my computer, iPad, or phone… I’m such a meanie (lie) but I relented (true) and so my iTunes gradually got filled with their music. I didn’t realize it until Spring Break when I wanted to listen to “my” music that I didn’t have it anymore… I had hundreds of songs in various languages, genres, and parental warnings instead. It was awesome! But I have to admit that I did give the boys a really hard time about my missing songs, even though I figured out it was my own fault, but I let them sweat it for a bit (mean, but true).
Anyway, because of these three gentlemen, I’ve rekindled my affection for Eminem and have started listening to a lot more Tech N9ne and this guy… this is actually one of my current favorite songs and the more I listen to it, the more I identify with it.
It will be weird without those boys in my class… and I will really miss their pretty consistent, “Miss, have you heard this song? No? Lemme put it on your iTunes for you…”
Last night, I dreamed that Lorenzo Lamas was a werewolf in my village. He growled at me.
The other day, while pulling into the all-but empty library parking lot, screaming, “…coooowwwwboooooy! I can smell a pig from a mile away….” I passed a police car; the officer and the man she pulled over took their time following me with their eyes as I went to the dropbox. I was quickly reminded that this was 2014 and that I am almost 34…
…Then, I almost turned the radio down. Almost.
Me: Why aren’t you working?
Student: I already did.
Me: Yes… you did #1…
Student: See?! This is why I don’t want to come to school. I work and then you keep asking for more.
Me: You can’t get credit if you don’t finish.
Student: Whatever miss. I ain’t comin’ to school no more.
Me: I will miss you and your bubbling enthusiasm for math.
“Miss, you don’t sound like a white person.”
Student: “You know how when you cup your hands over your ears, you can hear the beach? What beach do you think it is?”
Me: (struggling not to laugh) “Whatever beach you want, hon!”
Student: (hands over ears, head tilted to the side) “I think it’s overcast with clouds, the waves gently hitting the sand…”
If I *never* read another essay about how the school dress code should allow for holes (the “L” was often optional) in skinny jeans, it will be too soon.
I do, however, have to give props to the young lady who likened the unfairness of this rule to how women and children were executed during the Renaissance. It’s an apt comparison, don’t you think?