Gentlemen, it’s not considered self defense if you beat the other guy’s face into the ground.
(Backdrop: I said something snarky to my first hour math class, I can’t remember exactly what I said lol.)
Student 1: Wow, you’re savage, Miss.
Student 2: Yeah that was kinda mean.
Me: I never said I was nice.
Student 1: Yes, you did!
Me: Nope, never.
Student 2: You’re heartless!
Student 1: She ain’t heartless.
Student 3: Yeah, if she was heartless she wouldn’t be teaching here.
Me (laughing): If I was heartless, I wouldn’t be teaching at all!
Flashing gang signs above your teacher’s head in a picture you insisted you take with her and your buddies is a sign of affection, right??
When I called him out on it, he said (very contritely) “I didn’t mean to do that over your head!”
I think he missed the point 🙄 lol
Me: … so when making financial decisions, it’s important to remember–
Student: I have a question.
Me: Is it appropriate?
Me: Does it have to do with the lesson?
Me: Ok, what’s your question?
Student: Do you know why, when you breathe out, your breath is invisible?
It was so funny watching the kids watch “Sleepy Hollow.” They really got into the movie… the special treat was listening to them actually shout at the screen, warning Ichabod and Katrina against apparent impending doom. 😂
Me (lightly touching his shoulder): Do you need help with the problem?
Student (raised voice): Man, don’t touch me! You ain’t my girlfriend!
Class (suddenly alert, ready for what’s next)
Me (with raised eyebrows and a slight edge to my voice): That’s good, because I wasn’t going to ask you out.
Student 1: You look 23.
Me: Wow, nice. You’re my favorite student.
Student 2 (suddenly motivated): I think you look 18.
Me: Now you’re just being unrealistic.
Student 2 (deflated): Fine, you look 72.
Me: Well, that’s closer. I’m actually 65.
<they both study my face closely, perplexed>
Me (lifting my chin, pointing to an old scar): I’ve had a bit of work done, guys.
Student 1: Wow.
Student 2 (slowly): You look good for 65.