Student 1: I’m sorry, I didn’t do the homework.
Rest of class: We had homework?!
Me: Also me: I told you on Monday that if you didn’t finish it, then it was homework. I also posted it on Google Classroom.
Inattentive student: WE HAD HOMEWORK?!
Also me: Guys. I told you on Monday. This unit is not easy. You will need to practice the concepts on your own time if you want to actually understand how to solve the problems and also pa—
Student 2: What’s a viola?!
Student 1: Who is that?
Me: Idris Elba. He’s my future husband.
Student 2: My mom says the same thing!
Me: Your mom has good taste!
Student: (upset about a grade she received from a sub while I was gone)
Me: I’m sorry, kiddo, but I’m not changing it…
Student: But it’s not fair! If you hadn’t been gone, I wouldn’t have lost points!!
Me: You’re right. I thought to myself, how can I screw your grade? Oh yeah, I’ll just catch Covid. That’ll teach her!
Student: Yeah! Why’d you do that??
When you mention to a friend in passing that you struggle in the morning to pack a lunch…
and this friend also happens to be the parent of one of your students…
then that student hands you a sandwich and chips first thing!
Student: You know how there’s a process for a tadpole to get to a frog?
Student: That’s how slow we need to do this problem!!
“DOG’S CAN’T PAY CHILD SUPPORT, ERIC!!”
I asked a kid for his phone today.
He told me that making a million dollars was more important than school and so that’s what he was going to focus on.