He really did his research!

Today I learned that a man named Tim Cranmer the Babylonian invented the abacus 5000 years ago to help the blind.  

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Superlatives

One kid is in awe of me strictly because I have more (and better!) tattoos than him. I love it! That probably makes me a bad person, but I don’t care lol Last year, he and I tied for the “Best tattoos” in the yearbook. It was fantastic! 

I don’t want to be armed

I’m going to go out on a limb here — if the United States actually put money into schools for classroom supplies, support staff (like para-educators, mentors, security officers), counseling, therapy, mentoring, clubs, parenting classes, childcare for teen parents, anger management programs, multiple alternative education options (including adult classes, classes for those suspended etc), anti-gang programs and interventions, food for at least two square meals a day – even when school is not in session, clothing for students and families in need…

If the U.S. put that kind of money into schools, we might actually see a decrease in school-related violence.

But yeah, guns. Giving teachers guns does the same thing 🤬

Black Like Me

The kids have a family tree project that’s due at the end of the semester, so I showed them my tree on Ancestry.com and talked about my DNA results…

Me: … and I’m just a tiny, tiny bit North African.
Student 1 (shocked): What?
Me: It means that waaaay back sometime I had an ancestor or two who were North African.
Student 2 (practically shouting): Wait, so you BLACK?!
Me (sighing and laughing): Sure.
Student 2 (triumphantly): THAT’S why you so gangsta!!

Science Question

8th grader: Can I ask you a Science question?

Me: (not sure why he’s asking me, slowly) Um, sure.

8th grader (earnestly): You know when a guy goes to the bathroom and then they wipe?

{the whole class is paying attention now; we’re all curious why he’s chosen to ask me, the only female in the room…}

Me (slightly uncomfortable, not sure where this is going): I guess…

8th grader (encourage): So you know you lift certain, uh, areas, and wipe but lint from your drawers is stuck in, uh, places.

{two students are dying, one student is really paying attention, and another is just staring at him incredulously}

Me (more uncomfortable): Where are you going with this, bud?

8th grader (still in earnest): Well, the lint gets stuck and it itches. So, when this happens, how do you ask to leave for a minute so you don’t, you know, have to scratch your junk in front of everybody?

Me (laughing): Just ask if you can leave for a minute.

8th grader (relieved): May I leave for a minute?

Me: Sweetie, next time, just ask to leave. No one needs to know all that detail!

{class is laughing their asses off}

Birthday Lunch

The 13th birthday of one of my kiddos also happened to be quiz day. One of the bonus questions on the quiz was, “Describe your best math experience.” He wrote:

“It was November 30, 2017 when I walked into class and the math teacher said to me, what do you want to eat for lunch?”