Lookin’ Good, Slugger

Student 1: That’s a good picture of you.
Student 2: Let me see… you look good!
Me: Really? I think I look bad.
Student 2: Well, you do look like you just got into a bar fight but came out on top.
Me: (laughing hysterically)

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Ass Music

{“Hallelujah I Love Her So” playing}
Student: You need to turn off this ass music.
Me (incredulous): You think Ray Charles is ass music?!
Student: Yeah. Ass music. It needs to get turned off.
Me (after a slight pause): When you become a teacher, you can play whatever kinda music you want.
Student (considering): OK, that seems fair.

🙄

That’s not my name

Student (frustrated with the test): Miss {Other Teacher’s Name}

Me: That’s not my name.

Student (contrite): I know, sorry Mrs. Crumpett.

…Later…

Student (practically yelling in her frustration) Miss– FUCK!!!!!

Me (trying not to laugh) Well, that’s a new one…

Student (mortified): Shit, Miss, I got mad at the question, I wasn’t, you know–

Yep, I know