Graduation Date

Me: Alright, so your first goal should be “I will graduate” and include the year.
Student 1: When do I graduate?
Me: 2018. I think I’m going to graduate in 2020.
Student 2: Wait, you haven’t graduated?
Me (with a smile): Nope, I’m graduating in 3 years.
Student 2: Wait, so you didn’t graduate from high school?!
Student 3: Dude, are you serious?
Student 2: So, I could like just get a GED–
Student 3: Man, are you kidding?
Student 2: I could just walk into a classroom and start teaching?
Me: Yes.
Student 3 (rolling his eyes): Man, you know she’s being sarcastic!
Student 2: That’s all the education I need?!
Student 3: OH MY GOD!
Me (to at least one set of deaf ears): Guys, I graduated in 1999.

Savage, but not heartless

(Backdrop: I said something snarky to my first hour math class, I can’t remember exactly what I said lol.)

Student 1: Wow, you’re savage, Miss.
Student 2: Yeah that was kinda mean.
Me: I never said I was nice.
Student 1: Yes, you did!
Me: Nope, never.
Student 2: You’re heartless!
Student 1: She ain’t heartless.
Student 3: Yeah, if she was heartless she wouldn’t be teaching here.
Me (laughing): If I was heartless, I wouldn’t be teaching at all!

Relevant Question

Me: … so when making financial decisions, it’s important to remember–
Student: I have a question.
Me: Is it appropriate?
Student: Yes.
Me: Does it have to do with the lesson?
Student: Yes!
Me: Ok, what’s your question?
Student: Do you know why, when you breathe out, your breath is invisible?
Me: 😒

No Date for You!

Me (lightly touching his shoulder): Do you need help with the problem?
Student (raised voice): Man, don’t touch me! You ain’t my girlfriend!
Class (suddenly alert, ready for what’s next)
Me (with raised eyebrows and a slight edge to my voice): That’s good, because I wasn’t going to ask you out.
Class (laughing)