Savage, but not heartless

(Backdrop: I said something snarky to my first hour math class, I can’t remember exactly what I said lol.)

Student 1: Wow, you’re savage, Miss.
Student 2: Yeah that was kinda mean.
Me: I never said I was nice.
Student 1: Yes, you did!
Me: Nope, never.
Student 2: You’re heartless!
Student 1: She ain’t heartless.
Student 3: Yeah, if she was heartless she wouldn’t be teaching here.
Me (laughing): If I was heartless, I wouldn’t be teaching at all!

Relevant Question

Me: … so when making financial decisions, it’s important to remember–
Student: I have a question.
Me: Is it appropriate?
Student: Yes.
Me: Does it have to do with the lesson?
Student: Yes!
Me: Ok, what’s your question?
Student: Do you know why, when you breathe out, your breath is invisible?
Me: 😒

No Date for You!

Me (lightly touching his shoulder): Do you need help with the problem?
Student (raised voice): Man, don’t touch me! You ain’t my girlfriend!
Class (suddenly alert, ready for what’s next)
Me (with raised eyebrows and a slight edge to my voice): That’s good, because I wasn’t going to ask you out.
Class (laughing)

Age is just a Number

Student 1: You look 23.
Me: Wow, nice. You’re my favorite student.
Student 2 (suddenly motivated): I think you look 18.
Me: Now you’re just being unrealistic.
Student 2 (deflated): Fine, you look 72.
Me: Well, that’s closer. I’m actually 65.
<they both study my face closely, perplexed>
Me (lifting my chin, pointing to an old scar): I’ve had a bit of work done, guys.
Student 1: Wow.
Student 2 (slowly): You look good for 65.