Miss, you know math is a lot easier when I’m not high.
Gentlemen, it’s not considered self defense if you beat the other guy’s face into the ground.
Student: Miss, you’re cool as fuck.
Me: Nah, I’m cooler than that.
Student: I want [blah blah blah]
Me: Tell me what you want.
Student: Ok, I want [blah blah blah]–
Me: What you really really want.
You were absent, right?
Did you choose to miss school?
You weren’t ill or taking care of an sick person?
You chose to get dropped off at school, but then walk to your friend’s house and ‘hang out’ all day?
And you want to me to reteach the material you missed so that you can do your assignments without any late penalty?!
“Wow, thank you for finally doing a math problem!! Tomorrow’s my birthday and I feel like I just got an early present!”
“You’re mean, Miss.”
“Yes, yes I am.”
Student: Miss, I saw one of your students yesterday.
Me: You’ll have to be more specific.
Student: The one that got in a fight the other day.
Student: He was on my street at like 1 o’clock.
Student: Shouldn’t he be in class?
Me: (raised eyebrow)
Student: Touché, Miss. Touché.
He cussed at you? Are you sure? (…) Um, ‘asinine’ is not a bad word…
“Mrs. Crumpett, you can’t know what it means (referring to his earlier comment ‘once you go black, you don’t go back’)”
“I’m in my 30’s, I know what that means.”
“But you don’t know what a crib is, there’s no way you know that!”