Me: What did you get?
Me: 40 what?
Student: 40 little ‘o’ at the top.
Me: You mean 40 degrees. 🤦♀️
Student: Mrs. Crumpett, I can’t remember the art teacher, “Sam’s,” first name.
Student: (still waiting for me to answer)
Me: (slowly) “Sam’s” name is “Sam.” Would you also like the phone number for 9-1-1?
Student: This is going to kill me.
Me (laughing): Pretty sure you won’t die.
Student: I’m already dead.
Me: (raised eyebrow)
Student: Look, I can’t even hold my pencil! (he drops the pencil)
Student: I turned in the project, now what’s my grade?
Me: You have a D+, do you want some—
Student (shouting, as he walks out of school): YES!! My mom wants a C, but D’s get degrees!
<students talking over me>
Me: Please stop talking.
<students continue to talk over me>
Me: You’re being disrespectful!
<students keep talking over me>
<students start to end their conversation>
Me (oozing with sarcasm): Thank you for talking over me. I feel so respected right now.
Student A (very confused, but sincere): You’re welcome.
<a few start to laugh, but stop at my glare>
Student B (nicely, to Student A): She was being sarcastic.
This kid must not think I’ll actually read her paper. Over half of of the 5 page essay is that fake Latin gibberish from one of Word’s templates.