Facebook Stalker

Student: I found you on Facebook last night.
Me: (sigh) Oh, great.
Student: You really love your brother. You had a picture of him for his birthday.
Me: Stalker much?
Student: I’m not a stalker!
(Pause)
Student: You have a really cute dog.
Me: Such a stalker! (to another student) He’s a Facebook stalker, right?
Student 2: (nods)
Student: (a bit whiny) I’m not a stalker!
Me and class: 

Here’s your sign…

“Miss, when’s the test?”

Timeline Error

I’m not sure how, but my brief dating of a Jamaican 15 years ago turned into I’m married to Bob Marley.

That’s right. My middle schooler’s think I am married to a man who died when I was still a toddler.

My second biggest accomplishment today!

Staying after school

Student: Imma stay after today.
Me: I have a staff meeting. You can stay in my room and I can work with you later…
Student: OK, I can do that (walking toward me, and then away from me)
Me: Where are you going?
Student: I’m afraid you’re going to punch me!
Me: What?!
Student: For lying to you.
Me: About…
Student: Staying after school.
Me: So, you’re not staying after school today??
Student: I am today, but all the other days I don’t stay.
Me: (pause) Well, you know, when you don’t show up, I just sit at my desk and cry for a half hour.
Student: (sincerely) Don’t cry!
Me: 
Student (to class): See! She’s laughing and she’s angry! Everyone watch out!
Me: 

#8

Compliments

Love it when my students talk about my “pimp hand” in their essays 

My Husband

Student (on his way out of class): Say hi to your husband from me.

Me (confused): My husband?

Student (strolling back in, pointing to my GoT Hound action figure): Yeah, your husband!

Me (laughing): Oh yeah. My husband!

You know what’s fun?

When you’re brainstorming for a cross curricular unit on insects? Realizing that you’ve accidentally spelled it “incest” on the whole sheet.

Really, Really

“You look like Halle Berry…”

“A really, really, really, really light skinned Halle Berry.”