When one of your babies graduates, has a good first week of college, and you ask him about his new friends.
Month: October 2017
#5. I can’t even.
Quote of the Day
[In the middle of graphing quadratics, a young man pipes up] “You’ve heard of Old Lurch? Well he killed his girlfriend and ate her.”
Automatic A
Student: Do you normally wear make-up to school?
Me: Yes.
Student: You look way better without make-up, Miss.
Quote of the Day
“Two year olds don’t produce sperm.”
(Don’t ask me how this subject came up in Algebra 2 
)
I Love You, Too
The parent of one of my extremely unmotivated students very graciously dropped off some of his work (that he’d left at home for a week) about half way through the day.
As she was leaving, she said “I love you” to her son. Without even thinking, I said, “I love you, too!”
And then we laughed, and laughed!
Math is a Waste of Time
Bad attitude student: Why are we wasting all this time on this long problem? [factoring a quadratic where A>1]
Me: Buckle up, buttercup. This is Algebra 2, we’re going to be doing problems that take much longer and involve multiple pages!
Bad attitude student: <Harrumph>
Good student: (Giggling) She said buttercup!
Quote of the Day
Student 1: (derisively) You know he only likes white girls, right?
Student 2: (as if talking to a child) I guess that’s OK since I’m a white girl…
#9. I’m dying!!
Who left me in charge?
Me: My dog’s name is…
Student 1: [his name]!
Student 2: What kind of dog is he?
Me: Remember, you met him.
Student 2: Oh the small one?
Me: Yep.
Student 2: The wiener dog, right? I love wiener dogs!
Student 3: Will you bring him to school again?
Me: Yes.
Student 2: How big is he?
Me: About 16 pounds.
Student 2: Oh, you have a little wiener!!
Me: (a snort/laugh that I then had to try to cover as a cough because I was the only one who thought it was funny)
The Crumpett Files 