Me: My favorite assignment and yours, write me one page about your summer and include at least three examples of how you used math.
Student 1: (shows me the first paragraph she’s written)
Me: (to her) You can’t write “I measured the weed I wanted to smoke” in a school assignment. (to the class) Again, guys, writing about an illegal activity – any illegal activity – is not school appropriate. If you’re really stuck, use a euphemism. Do you guys know what a euphemism is? It is kind of like “a nice way” of saying something bad.
Student 2: Is that like euthanasia?
Me: No, not even close. Euthanasia is when you have your dog put down because it is too sick, like a mercy killing.
Student 2: Ok, so if I compliment someone, I can say I euthanized them?
Me (stunned silence for a second): No, that means you killed them. A euphemism is “a nice way” of saying something, not “saying something nice.”
Student 3: Like a synonym?
Me: Sure.
Student 2 (after a few minutes of silence, stands up and pulls the side of his shorts down a few inches): Hey, look at my weed underwear!
Me: 🤦♀️
The Crumpett Files 
It’s gonna be a long semester.
Tell me about it lol.